


X Æ A-12

by a_popcorn_kernel



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Baby Names, Crack, Gen, Humor, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Or not, elon musk is stupid, enjoy, forward all complaints to my humble abode in discord hell, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:34:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24052951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_popcorn_kernel/pseuds/a_popcorn_kernel
Summary: Adrien does the unthinkable when handed the blank birth certificate.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 34
Kudos: 108





	X Æ A-12

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. Yes, you read that title right. Enjoy this hot mess of a fic

_"ADRIEN AGRESTE DUPAIN-CHENG, GET YOUR STUPID BUTT BACK HERE, OR I SWEAR I WILL DIVORCE YOU!"_

The man in question slapped a hand over his mouth, staggering away from the source of the voice while trying to stifle his giggles as doctors and nurses alike stared at him weirdly. He could hear Plagg cackling inside his shirt jacket, and he burst into unrestrained laughter, the sound echoing all the way back to Marinette's hospital room. 

"DON'T YOU _DARE_ LAUGH! THIS ISN'T A JOKE!" she screamed back, her words crystal clear, even through the sounds of a baby's wailing. 

He laughed even harder, doubling over in the middle of the half-filled corridor. Plagg wheezed, whispering, "I— I can't believe you pulled that off, kid! I'm s— so proud of you!" He could see tears pooling in the kwami's eyes as Plagg poked his head out of his jacket, blending in with the dark fabric. 

Adrien blinked back his own tears, his eyes sparkling with his sheer joy and merriment. "I— I think it's best if I face her now," he murmured as he slowly straightened, laughter dying down. "I want to see our son, too, y'know? Preferably in one piece."

 _I have a son._ The reminder hit him like a punch to the jaw, dizzying and putting his world off-balance. He suddenly grinned, reversing direction as he jogged back to the room. _I have a son!_

The staff eyed him and slowly went back to their respective jobs, shaking their heads. _Rich people are weird._

He slowed his speed as he reached the threshold, the newborn's cries growing ever louder. Moving to lean against the doorframe, he settled into an easy smirk, trying to channel Chat Noir in an effort to hide his giddiness.

"You called, princess?" 

Marinette—sweaty, tired, _beautiful_ Marinette—glared at him from her position on the hospital bed. 

" _Explain this, chaton_ ," she hissed, voice raw from all the screaming she had done earlier. She jabbed her finger at a clipboard held by a nurse who fidgeted nervously, caught in the crossfire. 

Adrien pursed his lips, trying to hold in a giggle that would certainly mean his death.

Her pale finger, shaking with rage, was pointed at a section labelled "Name". Underneath it, written in hastily scribbled pencil, were the letters "X Æ A-12".

" _What_ , in the name of kwami, were you _thinking_?!" she raged, clutching her—their—child at her chest. "You would name our child after a _meme_?!"

Adrien's grin widened, and Marinette took that as an opportunity to chuck a pillow in his face. He staggered against the wall, one hand clutching the pillow against his chest.

"NEXT TIME, I WON'T LET YOU NEAR ME, OR THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE!" she shrieked. 

He started cackling. 

_"Mmf!"_

This time, she had aimed for the head. 

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry it's written in pencil so Mari can still change it ;)
> 
> Comments, violent reactions, and constructive criticism all appreciated~
> 
> [ Join the amazing Miraculous Fanworks Discord here!](https://discord.gg/598A4SS)
> 
> i'm on tumblr at [a-popcorn-kernel](https://a-popcorn-kernel.tumblr.com)


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